Tariffs, Trump & the Maple-Scented Madness: A Message from the Borderline

As a proud British-born, Canadian-by-choice author, I feel compelled to address the utterly imaginary but somehow headline-worthy suggestion that Canada could become the 51st U.S. state. Let’s be honest: It’s a “hell no” wrapped in flannel and dipped in maple syrup.

With trade tensions rising and a certain spray-tanned reality star once again making noise about tariffs and annexations, it’s important to remember who we are: We are not America’s frozen storage unit. We are not a spare Dakota. And we are definitely not joining the Union just because someone got cranky about lumber prices and wants to rape and pillage our natural resources.

Here in Canada, we’ve got:

• Free healthcare

• Better skiing

• Legal weed (not that I indulge)

• The best hockey in the world

• Two languages

• Wonderful Indigenous folk who we share their lands with

• And a literary scene worth defending

Which brings me to this:🇨🇦 Support Canadian authors. We write with frostbitten fingers, not-so-great Wi-Fi, and hearts full of moose-related trauma. We tell stories that are wild, warm, weird, and uniquely ours—tales that deserve shelves, spotlights, and support.

Canadian literature is diverse, sharp, and often criminally overlooked in the shadow of louder southern markets. It includes Indigenous voices and immigrant memoirs (like mine, The Hate Game) as well as ice-drenched mysteries and prairie-set romcoms. Hey, just pick up An Eye for an Eye: The Mallet Murders to read about a comedic crime thriller set in beautiful Nova Scotia!

So next time you’re book browsing, skip the annexation fantasy and pick up something proudly Canadian. Because our stories matter—and they don’t need a wall, a tariff, or a campaign hat to be worth reading.

A message from a British-born, Canadian-published, proudly unannexed author. #ReadCanadian #BritishByBirthCanadianByChoice #NoAnnexPlease#SupportCanadianAuthors #WeTheNorth #TrumpTariffsTasteLikeBurntToast #dennydarkeisbatshitbrilliant