A Bum Rap – When Fiction Becomes Uncomfortably Real
- Gary
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
In The Man with the Pink Sombrero, our delightfully unhinged Hollywood couple, Marcus and Bradley, frequently bicker about the worst possible way to die. Their conversations range from the bizarre to the anatomically concerning, with one suggestion involving a nuclear radioactive enema used as a holistic colon cleanse.
Silly, right? Well. Fiction has a way of poking reality right in the sphincter.
Truth is Bum-der than Fiction
I nearly choked on my morning coffee when I stumbled across a headline in the Daily Mail (because of course it was the Daily Mail):
“Frenchman Admitted to ER with WW2 Artillery Shell Lodged in Rectum.”
Yes. A World War Two bomb. Up. His. Backside.
According to the gentleman in question, he “slipped and fell on it while gardening.”
Classic.
The hospital immediately evacuated staff and patients, and a bomb disposal team was dispatched—because when your colon is potentially weaponized, you don’t take chances. Surgery was performed. The shell was removed. The patient, mercifully, survived. There was no word on whether his roses are blooming.
This Blog Post Brought to You by Marcus and Bradley
The whole thing sounds like a subplot Marcus would swear actually happened at a Beverly Hills detox clinic. Meanwhile, Bradley would be googling “radioactive suppository side effects” on his phone, fuming about the danger of botched colon cleanses and artisanal enemas.
It’s the kind of story that would be too ridiculous for fiction, if it hadn’t already been written in mine.
Final Thought: Go Out With a Bang (But Maybe Not Like That)
Worst ways to die?
Bitten by a ladybug.
Waiting for the Canucks to win the Stanley Cup.
Gardening with unexploded ordinance.
Choose wisely.
READ THE BOOK – The Man with the Pink Sombrero: criminally funny, explosively weird, and maybe too close to the truth for comfort.
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